Dear Amy

Dear Amy,

Today, August 1st 2017, marks 6 months since you gained your angel wings, and went to live with our Lord in Heaven. You left Earth so suddenly, so unexpectedly, without a warning. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of you, that I don’t miss you. You were, you are, my soul mate, and my bestest friend. I have never been so connected to someone, on so many levels, in every single way. Soul mates aren’t just romantic, you can have friendship soul mates too.

Every single day, and every single night, we would text. There was not a day or night that went by that we didn’t talk. If we didn’t talk as much on one day, then we would both say that we felt like something was missing, and something didn’t feel right on that day. I have gone 6 months, 6 whole months, without talking to you. 6 months without talking to my soul mate. How could it possibly be so long since we last spoke. I keep going to my phone, to text you, to tell you I love you, to tell you I miss you, to tell you what is going on in my life. But I can’t, because you won’t receive it.

I miss you so, so damn much that my heart hurts, I physically hurt so much because I miss you so much. My life feels incomplete without you, and I honestly don’t know how I am managing to carry on without you, without my bestest friend in the whole entire universe, without my soul mate.

I can feel you with me all the time, I know you are with me. But it isn’t the same. It isn’t the same as being able to text you, to talk to you on the phone. You ringing me on my birthday last year was the best present I will ever receive.

I wish, with all my might, with all my heart, that we had gotten to meet. That we would’ve gotten to hug, as we said, it would be the best hug ever. We had so many plans to hang out together, cuddling, eating junk food, watching TV together. I can envision it, it would’ve been such an amazing time, the best time ever. I dream about us meeting so often, and I know that will have to suffice for now. Until we are reunited in Heaven.

There is not a day that goes by where you aren’t in my thoughts, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss you to the point it makes me feel sick, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could talk to you, and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t see something that I want to tell my Amy.

I wear the necklace that you got me for my birthday all the time, the one that you had a matching one of. When I don’t wear it, when I am going to sleep, it hangs on my bed frame, next to me while I sleep. It is never far from my reach. If I don’t wear it one day, if I am in a rush and I forget to put it on, I feel like I am missing something, something doesn’t feel right.

Being without you, I feel like part of me is missing, part of my heart has gone, part of my soul is no longer with me. This is true. Part of me is missing, you were such an important part of my life, you are such an important part of my life, you always will be. You are no longer with me on Earth, but I know you are watching over me in Heaven. Laughing at all the silly things I do, all my Sophie-isms.

I am sitting here in tears, writing this letter to you. Wishing this was all a nightmare, such a bad dream, one that I could wake up from. But I know it’s not. I’d give anything for it to just be a bad dream.

I want to thank you Amy, thank you for being my bestest friend, thank you for being my soul mate, thank you for always being there for me, thank you for supporting me no matter how you were feeling, thank you for always having my back, and thank you for being you. You brightened up my life every single day, every single text message from you made me smile, or laugh. My life has been so much brighter for having you in it. I am so thankful for you, so lucky to have had you in my life, and I feel so blessed that God graced me with your beauty and your friendship and your love. God put you in my life for a reason, He knew that you were my soulmate, and that I needed you in my life to make my life a better place. Thank you, Lord, and thank you, Amy, for everything you have blessed me with. I am eternally grateful for you. Thank you for being you.

I miss you, more than I could ever possibly begin to express, there is not enough words in the dictionary to describe how much I miss you.

I love you so much Amy, so much more than you could ever imagine. I hope you knew just how much I loved you, how much I love you, and how much you meant, you mean, to me. You will always hold such a special part of my heart, that will never, ever change. You will always be my bestest friend, and my soul mate. Nothing will ever, ever change that.

Your soul mate, and as we always said, your best friend, forever and always.

Sophie x

 

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